She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
