As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize