But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize