Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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