He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
