The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
