I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
