I faked an abortion last night.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
