U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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