Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
