i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
