i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Im part way to drunk.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Congratulations! We have a period
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
