it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
