i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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