we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
