we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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