I think i peed on brittanys purse
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
