Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
