hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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