If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
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