just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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