hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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