If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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