Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My liver is preforming stress tests.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize