That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
