hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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