Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
