everyone is single if you try hard enough
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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