why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
