i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
