we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
