I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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