Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
