I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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