So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
