So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
