it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
sex in a hospital.. check
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
