she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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