I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
