I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize