How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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