ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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