We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize