But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize