once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
