its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
