great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
The power of my boobs compel you
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
