Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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