Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Randomize
