Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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