Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
