I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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