how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I am spending my child support on dildos
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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