Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
