I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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