Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
