yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
