i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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