I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
