Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
then he tried to convert me to islam
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
