you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
