Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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