if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
