We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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