just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
