Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
