A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
