You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
