big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
