When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
